Ross Field has invented a portable stabilizing pole for a passenger in a subway or bus. It attaches to the ceiling with a suction cup. This comes in handy when the train is so crowded that you can’t reach the center pole or side bars. (And the cute girl in the tank top asks you to please not use her shoulder for balance, ever again.) You’ll also save on Purell. Patent No. US 7,367,347 B2 (May 6, 2008)

 

Apparently, there are some pet owners who like to read aloud to their pets as a way of spending time together. If you find your dog yawning when you read Nell Freudenberger, perhaps try this: Sari Locker and Brian Clinton have invented A Page or Book for Interacting With an Animal. On each page, there is something that is attractive to the pet—stimulating its sense of sight, smell, taste, touch or sound, such as a bell, a brush, glitter, scented paper, yarn, a laser or even a bone. The inventors believe that these books will help you spend quality time with “dogs, snakes, cats, rabbits, rodents, guinea pigs, ferrets, turtles, lizards, fish, monkeys, horses, goats, cows, donkeys, parrots, parakeets and the like.” How to get the donkey into your apartment, they don’t say. Patent No. US 7,357,421 B2 (April 15, 2008)

 

Sande Berger, a writer pursuing her M.F.A. at Stony Brook University in Southampton, and Leonard Jaffe of Short Hills, N.J., an orthopedic surgeon for the New Jersey Devils, received a patent for a clear plastic device worn between the toes to prevent the discomfort caused by the strap of thonglike sandals. Ms. Berger said she grew tired of using bubble gum and Play-Doh at pool parties. No word if the Devils will be using these on the ice. Patent No. US 7,335,178 B2 (Feb. 26, 2008)

 

The Combination Toy Chair and Sleeping Bag was designed by Benjamin Akkad of Brooklyn. The sleeping bag is stored in the body of the chair. When unrolled, the sleeping bag makes up what look to be the legs and pants of the now very tall bear, and your child will immediately bed down for the night, comforted by the wild bear looming above. Patent No. US 7,367,070 (May 6, 2008)

 

Donna Lisciandro, Hyuk Hur and Jane de Navi have improved on the design of the Asymmetric Umbrella. They claim that their supporting metal undercage collapses with the same facility and uniformity as a conventional umbrella; past versions of the asymmetric were unsightly and awkward when collapsed into the closed position. Think about how much sense asymmetric umbrellas make: The optimal place to stand under an umbrella is right in the center. But because the stick is right down the center, one always has to stand to the side and make a choice what to risk to the rain. Conventional umbrellas, however, still work best for dancing. Patent No. US 7,350,530 B2 (April 1, 2008)

 

The inventors who created this Foldable Transaction Card, among them New Yorker Ellen Lasch, Lisa Ann Morrill Webb of Darien, Conn., and Priscilla Gandel of Long Branch, N.J., believe this invention will appeal to those who often find themselves griping: “This credit card is too damn bulky! And there’s nowhere on it to attach my keys!” Voilà!
Patent No. US 7,398,931 B2 (July 15, 2008)

 

Keeping one’s hands clean in New York can be a Sisyphean endeavor, never more so than after washing up in a public bathroom and facing the issue of the doorknob. Solutions have included using one’s foot (requires dexterity), waiting for someone to enter (requires patience) or using a sleeve (icky, and requires sleeve). Some use paper towels, but then they are faced with the issue of what to do with the paper towel once out the door. Simon Sassoon’s Controllable Door Handle Sanitizer System and Method comes to the rescue. It disinfects the doorknob, activated by a timer or a wave of the hand, like magic. Patent No. US 7,360,674 (April 22, 2008)

 

The Emergency Ladder System, created by Walter Lockhart, comes out of the ground when triggered by an alarm or a person in need of assistance. The ladders extend to those floors from which it is too high to jump, and do so immediately, eliminating the time it takes to wait for the NYFD to arrive. Since it can be triggered manually, it also is great for when you lose your keys. Patent No. US 7.337,878 (March 4, 2008)

 

Carlos Rosas of the Bronx designed a new Christmas tree that is perfect for New Yorkers, for whom a pine tree in the living room means that it is also in the bedroom, office and kitchen. Patent No. US D571,251 S (June 17, 2008)

 

A team of inventors, including Dong Ik Kevin Shin of New York City, has created a stand that allows exercisers to safely mount their laptops on Stairmasters and stationary bicycles. This is perfect for bloggers who like to blog about how exhausted they are. Patent No. US 7,335,147 B2 (Feb. 26, 2008)

 

Doris Holz has solved the problem for those who have a hard time locating their eyeglasses. She has embedded a sensor and a speaker into the temple bars so that when a transmitter is pressed, the eyeglasses emit an audible signal. Those used to losing their cordless phone will be familiar with this. Patent No. US 7,362,222, B1 (April 22, 2008)

mkelber@observer.com