The French philosopher Simone de Beauvoir argued that when men acted baffled by women, they were actually blowing off the whole sex.

“Ladies are so confusing! Better not hire them for jobs.”

Over many decades women have finally proven themselves transparent enough to enter all professional fields in America. But now a burgeoning trend, bows, threatens to remystify women.

“There’s a real mystical femininity to bows,” said the flamboyant stylist Phillip Bloch, who is currently designing bow-festooned garments for a label called Emma & Posh, on the phone to The Observer recently. Then he backpedaled. “Not mystical! But magical. Girly.”

We understand why Gossip Girl’s Blair Waldorf would be wreathed in bows (and beaux!) on the show; after all, she’s in high school. But why would grown-up actress gals like Eva Longoria, Elisha Cuthbert and Demi Moore submit to this trend in real life, as a perky publicist for a firm charmingly called Whisper assured us they had?

“People like [bows] because they associate them with presents,” Mr. Bloch said. “It reminds them of childhood.”

The fad began a few years ago as so many ribbons, in the form of necklaces and belts. But bows have grown to encompass entire garments. Bows may be stiff or floppy. Sometimes they dominate collarbones and sometimes they sit on feet. Last month the designers Vivienne Westwood, Isaac Mizrahi and Betsey Johnson (a repeat offender) all stuck them on the runway. There’s also some mid-priced label called Priorities putting them on sweaters. Because, you know, one of the modern woman’s priorities is looking, quite literally, like God’s gift to mankind.

The important things about bows is that they are “always about proportion” and feminine, Mr. Bloch said. The people who go for bows come in all ages, shapes and sizes. But they are, according to him, “definitely women.”

In his own designs he “went for the ’50s ice skater look, a chicer version of holiday sweaters.” Don’t worry. He takes care to avoid evocative color combinations such as red and green. “We don’t want little Santa Clauses and elves running around.” Heavens, no.

Once that land mine is averted, bows “are more to the demure than the sexy,” Mr. Bloch advised, and then went for the inevitable Classic Gamine reference. “If they’re simple and elegant, then it’s very Audrey Hepburn. On the other hand, it depends where the bow is placed. If it’s on a plunging backline, then that’s very sexy. It symbolizes easy access.”

Inviting sex by letting your bow hang low? How passive. Why not just hand over a pair of big shiny scissors to the fellas and be done with it?

Oh, and speaking of men:

“Bow ties are coming back,” Mr. Bloch said. But he prefers that they not be knotted. It’s “the whole neo look. An open, untied bow tie is kind of sexy. Unwrapped.” And perhaps a bit unhinged.

ggoldis@observer.com